Friday, April 24, 2009


Nostalgia: The term nostalgia describes a longing for the past, often in idealized form. This statement pretty much sums up my life the last week! I have had the pleasure of having some great friends down to visit this past week! We have had such a great time, days spent swimming in the cold salty ocean, sharing stories, laughing, basking in the sun and partying till the wee hours of the morning. Along with old friends also comes the nostalgia and memories of my ex-fiance Victor. Our break-up was sudden and harsh, I spoke to him one time since that was more than two years ago. Through my friends I am remembering the good times and the good side of him. Over the last two years I have grown to learn that we all make mistakes, be them big or small we are not perfect. Is he proud of what he did, no, absolutely not, is he happy now, yes, he has a beautiful girlfriend and daughter, what he was longing for with me but I wasn't ready to give him.

I miss the good times and I have a lot to thank him for. I speak fluent Spanish much becuase of him and his family. They lovingly accepted me in to their family and with much love and patients taught me to speak their language. Unless you have moved 3000 miles from home in to a foregin culture, you will never know the lonelyness that can set in and how amazing it is to be welcomed so lovingly. Just like life, it was not all happy times, we had our shares of ups and downs but we both learned to be flexible and to understand and accept that God brought us together for a reason.

I have been working on myself and growing as a person, spiritually and working on putting everything in my past at peace and leaving it in the past. I put it out the the universe a few weeks ago that I fully forgive Victor and I wish him the best and I am moving on. I then drempt that we hugged, he turned and walked away, it was an amazing feeling. So today I decided that I would like to do it in person, to let him know that I wish him the best.

I spoke to him today and let him know that I would like to see him next week so I can tell him face to face I forgive him and wish him the best. He and I are both looking forward to the meeting and the closing of the door. This has been 2 years in the making but I finally feel at peace.

Thanks Joe and Shelly for being the catalist for this!! Have a safe trip home tomorrow, can't wait until you come back!


  1. I love it! you're so inspiring...I wish I had your courage to forgive and 'forget'...maybe some day...

  2. So glad to hear this Chan, what a great story and very rewarding for you. I'm happy for you too! Great blog Chan

  3. I second Amanda...fantastic blog! I've been reading through a bunch of your blog posts and I have to stop and remind myself that this isn't my blog because our thoughts on a bunch of things are one and the same. It's amazing what a challenge and eye opening experience moving abroad by yourself for an extended period of time can do. But, although frustrating and confusing as hell sometimes...the experience is absolutely rewarding and worth it!