I’m grateful for a new day, every day! I am grateful for children. They are untainted and are always smiling. I’m grateful for my family especially my siblings. I'm grateful for a good job! A job period! I am grateful for my animalitos who always know when I am feeling blue, and do their best to get me out of it. Luz kneaded my head last night for about 1/2 an hour while I was falling asleep. Also to Chantel for reminding me that I am cabrona! I am grateful for the gift of life and the joys and sorrows that it brings.....I am grateful that I know how to give & receive the greatest gift of all.....LOVE! I am grateful for the dance! I am grateful for my family and true friends who have stood by me through all of life's twists and turns. Most importantly I am grateful to have a God who is all loving and forgiving. I am grateful to my angels and spirit guides, they know what for! I am so thankful for my Health; it’s a real eye opener when one of your best friend is battling cancer. My family who is always there when I need them, also, my friends who are always there for me. You said it all right there Lori! Life has its up and downs and it is so wonderful to have loving family and friends there for the ride! I am grateful to God for giving me such a wonderful son. He brightens my day... Every day!!! I'm grateful for my Mom, she drives me crazy sometimes but she is always there when I need her and when I don’t. She rocks! I am grateful for being able to listen to my children’s voices as they are laughing and having fun xx I am grateful for my boys. When I was 19, the doctor told me I would probably never be able to have kids, so they are definitely a blessing! They are the best thing in my world! I am grateful to the universe for bringing me exactly where I am supposed to be, working next to Chantel every day. I´m grateful for so many things...my family, where I live, my great friends, my job...but today specifically - for the smile on my face :) I'm grateful that I' so happy! I am grateful for life and everything that brings to us. I am grateful for each day, each breath. I have the opportunity to start fresh with each inhale. And when the sun breaks each morning, I have yet another opportunity for an amazing day. I am thankful for my loving husband, my great family and all my wonderful friends that make me so happy everyday! I am grateful for endless possibilities. Amen to endless possibilities...I am feeling open to change! And I am grateful for my nephews, the two coolest humans on the planet. I'm grateful for my friends. They are family. Health! I am grateful that my kids will grow up in a safe and loving community. Family, friends & the simple things.....:) I ♥ u Chan!!! My babies! I am grateful for everything that is wonderful in my life, most of all my little family!!!

Happy in my loneliness

It's been a long time since I have blogged and my last blog was very emotional for me. I miss Andrea more now than I did when I wrote that blog, but she is doing very well in Montreal and has even met a very nice boy. I am happy for her, I know she struggled with the decision and things still aren't that easy for her, especially when she leaves MSN messenger open on her moms computer!!! Ok Ange, that goes down in the goober girl hall of fame!

As for me, I feel a bit lonely right now, longing for familiar people and places, longing for the warm summer nights back home sitting around camp fires with family and friend, laughing until my stomach hurts. Beers on the back deck after work, but most of all I just really miss having someone in my life. Someone to eat meals with, someone to talk to my day about someone to encourage me, someone to be my cheerleader, someone to hug me, someone to be proud of my for my accomplishments, someone to grab me and hug me, someone to crawl in to bed with at night, someone to kill that big spider when I just can't do it. Life for me right now is filled with so many great things to be grateful for, so much love and abundance but I really feel like I am missing someone.........I miss most the physical touch of this person, I crave the simplicity of touch, interaction with someone. It seems when we have this we take it for granted, I know I did in the past.............but in my future when I do meet this person it is one thing I will never take for granted~! I will look back on this time and remember these seemingly hot lonely summer nights in Mexico and remember that they are what has brought me to be who and where I am.

I am going to miss you so much Ange!!!

I am back, back to my life in Puerto Vallarta. As the plane touched down today I was overcome with emotion. There are so many things in my life changing currently. I just flew in from a fun filled week up north with friends and family celebrating yet another party for Marcus and Kelsie's wedding~We had a blast and I feel so fortunate to have such amazing people in my life. I was picked up at the airport for the last time today by my bestfriend here, Andrea. Saturday morning at 8:30 she will end her journey here in Puerto Vallarta and head to Montreal to start the next phase of her life. As I sit here and write this I have tears running down my cheeks, it is rare in this life to meet people like Andrea, I am sad she is leaving but I am so very thankful that our paths crossed and we have had 6 of the most amazing life changing years together here in Puerto Vallarta. I know this isn't the end of our friendship but just the beginning of our friendship from afar. Ange I am so happy for you and you know that I want you to be happy! I think you have made a great decision to move! I will miss you like crazy, things will never be the same, we will now look forward to trips north and south to see each other and cherish the times we will have! Be safe, don't do anything I wouldn't do (leaves things pretty wide open). Remember if you are going to take a taxi to a banda concert in the middle of the night drinking a bottle of red wine, duck when the beer bottles start getting thrown at your head. When you get pulled over by the police in Montreal, don't tell them you hate Canadians if he asks if you are married. I will surely miss our impromptu nights on the town (Gato Negro anyone?), our lazy days on the beach, our nights just sitting around chatting, bbq's at my house, drinking beers on the balcony, but we have our entire lives ahead of us, our futures are bright! Be safe amiga, I will miss you more than you will ever know!

I am so blessed!

The title says it all, I am incredibly blessed. I just had the most amazing 2 weeks here in this magical palace with the best people on earth, my family and friends! We celebrated the beautiful wedding of my brother Marcus and his beautiful new wife Kelsie! We partied for 15 days straight! We turned this town upside down one bar at a time (even the gay bars). It's been a bit of a let down to have everyone gone, but naturally I havn't sat still yet. Work has been crazy, I feel like I will get another sale this week, and have also been contacted by my old job to maybe come back. Not sure what I will do at this point, but I did put it out to the universe that I needed to make money and some things are coming my way. This blog is short tonight as I am completely exhausted, but I want to put up a few photos! I love you all and thanks for checking in on me! More later!
Light and Love
xo

AM Banana Bread!

Life is challenging right now, I guess becuase I can only (or choose to)see my path one day at a time! I need to make money and support myself, but at this point and time it's difficult! I know like everything, this too shall pass! I know this is a lesson for us all to slow down and not get so wrapped up in our obsession of material things but rather to enjoy each other. I have a friend here in Puerto Vallarta, the family is not rich, in good time they barely make it with 3 teenage kids. I was talking to her yesterday and she said, well we don't have a lot but we have each other and we have been enjoying spending time together (the kids are going on 2 weeks out of school, and her husband has been cut to part time in the hotels becuase of the swine flu scare, thanks US media, we really fucking appreciate your fucking stupidity)I asked how they were financially, she said well, we have coffee, water, rice and beans so we are doing good, we can eat everyday! That pretty much put things in to perspective for me!

Very relaxing and a super chill end to a fairly heavy day. I have dubbed myself "The Ice Pack" it seems that most of my friends here have had melt downs in the last few weeks, and I seem to get the phone call in the middle of it! I am sure my time will come and I will have a lot of people to call!

Adios 28~Hello 29

As my 29th birthday is quickly closing in on me, I have decided to do something for myself that is very out of character for me (details to be given later..........hehe).

I want to remind myself of my journey, why I am here, what I am here to learn and do for others. Too many times I get far too wrapped up in everyday life and forget to live my life and help others.

The higher power has done a splendid job of reminding me lately to stop and help! Every time I have been down on myself or my situation, it seems that I am presented with an opportunity to help someone less fortunate than myself. For example: Last week when my friends were visiting, we went to the bus stop, as I approached there was a man, blind, and obviously lost. I greeted him and asked where he needed to be. Come to find out, the bus had dropped him off at the wrong stop, after chatting with him for a moment, Tony and I walked him back 2 blocks to the bus stop where his sister would be picking him up for Sunday lunch. In conversation on our short 2 block walk, I found out his name was Angel and yes he was my Angel for the day! Please don't forget to help each other, especially right now, it's amazing what a small gesture like walking a blind person 2 blocks can do!

We are part of a whole that is so much bigger than anything out finite minds can grasp or understand. I have finally in my 28th year started to try and grasp this concept...........is it easy, no! But try and remember to live in the present and not worry too much about the future, it will be what it will be and you will shape it with the decisions you make today!

Light and Love to all! xo

Nostalgia

Nostalgia: The term nostalgia describes a longing for the past, often in idealized form. This statement pretty much sums up my life the last week! I have had the pleasure of having some great friends down to visit this past week! We have had such a great time, days spent swimming in the cold salty ocean, sharing stories, laughing, basking in the sun and partying till the wee hours of the morning. Along with old friends also comes the nostalgia and memories of my ex-fiance Victor. Our break-up was sudden and harsh, I spoke to him one time since that was more than two years ago. Through my friends I am remembering the good times and the good side of him. Over the last two years I have grown to learn that we all make mistakes, be them big or small we are not perfect. Is he proud of what he did, no, absolutely not, is he happy now, yes, he has a beautiful girlfriend and daughter, what he was longing for with me but I wasn't ready to give him.

I miss the good times and I have a lot to thank him for. I speak fluent Spanish much becuase of him and his family. They lovingly accepted me in to their family and with much love and patients taught me to speak their language. Unless you have moved 3000 miles from home in to a foregin culture, you will never know the lonelyness that can set in and how amazing it is to be welcomed so lovingly. Just like life, it was not all happy times, we had our shares of ups and downs but we both learned to be flexible and to understand and accept that God brought us together for a reason.

I have been working on myself and growing as a person, spiritually and working on putting everything in my past at peace and leaving it in the past. I put it out the the universe a few weeks ago that I fully forgive Victor and I wish him the best and I am moving on. I then drempt that we hugged, he turned and walked away, it was an amazing feeling. So today I decided that I would like to do it in person, to let him know that I wish him the best.

I spoke to him today and let him know that I would like to see him next week so I can tell him face to face I forgive him and wish him the best. He and I are both looking forward to the meeting and the closing of the door. This has been 2 years in the making but I finally feel at peace.

Thanks Joe and Shelly for being the catalist for this!! Have a safe trip home tomorrow, can't wait until you come back!
xoxo